I Broke the Internet

I spilled a full can of Dr. Pepper on my computer and it broke the internet. I can’t say it any more clearly than that. I broke it. The internet isn’t working.

Everything was fine until the spill. Now everything’s bonkers. There’s no way this is a coincidence.

I think it was the phosphoric acid in the Dr. Pepper. The can says it has phosphoric acid. PHOSPHORIC ACID!

I’m still getting wireless reception, my mail programs are still retrieving, but whenever I look at a webpage it looks like this:

broken internet 1

I mean, you know this, because the internet is broken for you too. It’s broken for everyone. How did this happen? Was it the Sodium Benzoate? That’s supposed to be bad for you, I think. Why don’t they tell you what’s safe to drink around the computer?

I restarted my router and tried this site.

internet 2

Shit.

Shit-shit-shit-shit-shit-shit-shit.

Guys, I’m really sorry that I broke the internet. I didn’t mean to. I was performing a difficult drink-while-typing maneuver, and…

I’m going to call the number on the can. 1-800-DRPEPPER

I don’t even know if this will post.

UPDATE: The Dr. Pepper dried. We’re all good.

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