Why Don’t More People Eat the Frylock?

Frylock - Aqua Teen Hunger Force

McDonald’s is the greatest restaurant in the world. McDonald’s believes in food quality, food safety, and environmental responsibility. McDonald’s is committed to the African-American and Hispanic communities. Name one better restaurant. Just one. YOU WON’T!

But they aren’t perfect. They are scared of new ideas. That’s right. McDonald’s isn’t perfect. The best ever? Yes. But Perfect? No, I just went over that with you.

You see, I sent Ronald an email the other day saying:

ur fries are sooo teh best! can u strt putting them as toppings on ur burgers? i do it all the time its called a FRYLOCK!

Their response:

It is our company’s policy not to consider unsolicited ideas from outside the McDonald’s system. Because we are always working on new ideas and strategies within the company, we do not review ideas from outside McDonald’s to avoid confusion over the origin of an idea. We realize that we may be missing out on a few good ideas, but we had to adopt this policy for legal and business reasons.

I didn’t ask for money. This isn’t about me getting rich for my brilliant ideas. No. This is about the welfare of the public. I think people want to know about this new-fangled burger contraption. And I’M GOING TO TELL THE WORLD.

Step 1: The Burger


You order a burger. However you normally have your burger, order it that way. Are you still with me? Good.

You’ve just completed the most important step towards making your first Hamburger/French Fry based sandwich.

Place your burger aside for now, but remember where you put it! The burger will be important later.

Step 2: The Fries


Order some french fries. It’s important to know how much you are going to use. Some people smother their frylock in potatoes, some endorse only a thin layer. As a rule of thumb, I use 1/2 an order of small fries for every Frylock I’m making. That’s usually 3, so I go with a medium.

Now you have your fries, but what are you going to do with them? Remember the burger from before? You’ll need that now.


A delicious combination

Lift the burger’s top bun.


VERY CAREFULLY place a handful of fries on the burger patty.

Replace the top bun.

You’re almost there, now just…

Step 4: Put in Mouth

Enjoy your Frylock and tell someone about how great it was.The Frylock is such a beautiful thing that many people forget its original purpose is to be eaten. Don’t make the Frylock feel bad. Put it in your mouth and taste the potato/cow wonderful.

You did good today, I’m proud of you.

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