Earlier in the week I was having a discussion about this exceptionally unexceptional name of mine. There were anecdotes about the other Daniel Cohen I went to camp with, and the Daniel Cohens I went to Emerson with, but in the end my friend Jessica, who likes to turn everything into a competition, shocked us all by turning it into a competition.
As one of many, many Dan Cohens, I am immune to being googled, but not Wolfram Alpha’d:
Combined with the stats on Cohen (surname), there are very probably 75 people alive today in the United States named after or before me, and that number seems a little low. Thankfully, my parents blessed me with a weird and wonderful middle name: Oets.
Googling “Oets” nets you the subtle suggestion that you’ve made a typo attempting to spell “poets,” and after that you’re wading into my family lineage. Uncle Oets is there, and the great grandfather I’m named after. Meanwhile, Wolfram Alpha says:
Damn that feels good.